Adam was a sinner

he was human and weak

he couldn’t resist the temptation

of finding everything he seeked

who could resist the sensation?

the feeling of euphoria and lust

she was the reddest apple in the garden

she had the beauty you couldn’t trust

but Adam was a sinner

he couldn’t say no

what harm she intended to bring

her evil didn’t show

he took a bite of the exquisite fruit

a bite he never should have taken

at first she tasted sweet then became bitter

and so it came; the downfall of the sinner

despite the delightful taste of the red apple

the pleasure of the bite did not last

a great pain in his chest

suddenly a spell has been cast

the apple was poisoned

she was never meant to satisfy

she was meant to kill

now he was struggling to get by

no means of survival

no means of cure

what seemed so beautiful to him

was never created pure

but Adam was a sinner

he was young and naive

he gave in to what he thought was good

and now look where he stood

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Basang-basa ako.

Basang-basa sa daloy ng aking luha,

na unting-unitng gumagapang sa aking mga pisngi.

Pumapatak sa dibdib, kumakatok sa nalalantang puso.

Basang-basa ako.

Basang-basa sa lawa ng dugo,

na galing sa sugat ng aking puso,

mula sa sugat ng ating pagmamahal,

ang nawasak na pinagsamahan.

Sinaksak mo ako gamit ang iyong paalam.

Binaril mo ako at iniwang nakadapa sa ganayt.

Sa ibabaw ng dugo, sa ibabaw ng luha.

Iniwan mo ako, iniwan.

Pinunit mo ang ating pangako.

Pinunit nang pinunit hanggang naging buhangin.

At inakala ko’y nasa baybayin na tayo.

Pero hindi. Walang luha sa aplaya. Walang malungkot sa dalampasigan.

Sinungaling ako kapag sinabi kong hindi kita minahal.

Kaya sinta, bago ka tuluyang lumayo, tanggapin mo ang kaisa-isa kong pabaon:

Hindi kita minahal. 

Hinding-hindi kita minahal kahit kailan.

At napakasaya ko ngayon. Ang saya-saya ko.

Hindi ko inaasam na mabalot muli sa iyong mga yakap.

Hindi ko inaasahang matikman ulit ang iyong matatamis na labi.

Ayoko nang malunod sa iyong mga mata.

Hindi kita minahal. Hindi sinta, hindi.

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Hindi mo malalaman na naaalala kita
tuwing umuulan, at kung paano
tayo sabay na nahimbing sa himig ng pagbagsak nito

Hindi mo malalaman na naiisip kita
tuwing bilog ang buwan at kung
paano tayo sabay na nabighani
sa kagandahan nito sa gitna ng kadiliman

Hindi mo malalaman na naririnig kita
at ang tunog ng iyong gitara
kasabay ng huni ng mga ibon sa tanghali
na tila humehele sa oras ng siesta

Hindi mo malalaman na nadarama kita
sa bawat pag-ihip ng hangin sa gabi
at kung paano nanindig ang mga balahibo ko
sa unang beses na hinawakan mo ang kamay ko

Hindi mo malalaman na ipinapaalala kang lagi
sa akin ng araw,
at kung paano sinisimbolo ng paglubog nito
ang isang magandang pagtatapos
na nagbibigay daan sa pag-asa ng
mas magandang simula na hatid
ng muling pagsikat nito.

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Save me

Your love won't

Be put to waste

Your promises will

Keep my heart beating

Nothing you say can

Make me hate you

Your eyes, your smile

You make me whole

What made them think

I can't be saved

(Read from bottom to top)

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I was curious to find out if the whispers were true
I want to know about the news that came out of the blue
to find out of the girl who wouldn’t speak
what’s the story behind the girl whom they concluded weak?

I found her cuddled in the corner inside an empty stall
down the hunted hallway of the south west hall
her eyes a perfect mask of serenity like the open seas
a fair sure sign too hard to miss.

Tears fall down her pinched up face
while trying to lock herself inside her man made case
protecting herself from the anxieties of the world
shielding away from the fears that swirled.

A fragile figure sobbing on the bathroom floor
my heart ached as I continued watching by the door
in that moment I began to finally understand
that she was lonely for warmth and love to hold her empty hand.

She was a girl that everybody misunderstood
and one day she decided to fade away for good
for no one to tried to help so she remained shy and meek
that’s the story of the girl who wouldn’t speak.

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You are trapped

Tigers and lions, now beasts surround you

Play dead to avoid death, pray as you do

Sinner’s Prayer unheard, monsters bellowed, you’re wrapped

Killing knives, slaying swords, are these enough?

One down, ain’t done, be strong and stay tough!

Kill the tigers; slay the lions – dead meat

Blood and sweat, bitter yet sweet, many more to meet and beat

You are chained

In a realm of darkness, hopeless but fearless

Screams of sorrow, tears of terror – heart hardened however hopeful

Fears faded, strength spawned; with all power, chains are broken

Guns and arms – everyone swiftly runs, echoin’ loudly are alarms

Guns banging, bullets breaking, bodies bleeding

Head shot – first kill; others left to kill, liters of blood to spill

Ground so red, bound in and see the corpse of dead: you escaped death

You are imprisoned

In a room of gloom, with fellow preys seeking for challenge and revenge

Beckoned by beasts when trapped, screamed and shrieked when chained

United as one, called as one – we are amalgamated for a revolution

Big bombs booming, clashing cannons crashing: a start of a war

You against yourself, I versus myself, we against ourselves: losing, not an option

You beat your beasts, I thrash my titans, and we defeat our demons: winning not afar

Fists of a champion, heart of a victor – we have prevailed from a self-insurrection

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Filled by Him


Tears are about to fall

I have to drop it all

No one is here with me,

Only darkness came to see...


I want to scream aloud,

I need to voice it out,

Nobody is here to listen,

It doesn't make sound...


Longing for the sweet scent,

Smell the peace of mind,

No clean air was left,

Polluted by fear behind...


I desire to be happy,

To relieve pain in my heart,

Alone... on my own,

Searching for missing part...


I'll get rid of bitterness,

Seek the flavor of love,

I found the jar empty,

But filled by him from above.
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I will fall all over again

on your artful hands that pluck

the thorns from my flesh, and pinch

my unrestful body

like clay

shaping my muted lips into

a loud, deafening pucker—

(you beckon me with your mad

loneliness, Galatea,

bittersweet like the fall of rain

on the galvanized iron

ceiling)

I will fall all over again

then feel your artful hands on

the cold, marble bust of my skin

unrestful, you mastered

me.

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I swore to start loving myself last night
even when I don’t want to
because time and again I am reminded that my body is the only home I’ll have
when everything else has turned into ashes

Caterpillars wrap themselves in their cocoons
much like the way I hide myself away from the world
but what I didn’t know was how they deconstruct their bodies until there is barely anything left
and take all of these parts back together again to create something beautiful

I picked apart my body every night in front of the bathroom mirror
and instead of wanting to put it back together again,
I wanted to throw away the pieces

Caterpillars have their wings inside them from the start
and I’d like to believe that something beautiful is hidden away inside me too
just waiting for the right time to come out
These little creatures transform into something new and all the while
it has the same mind, the same memories, it is still the caterpillar
only now with wings that will let them fly to newer heights

I’m still that little caterpillar
still figuring out how to weave the cocoon that will one day set me free
but I know that somehow we each have that butterfly inside us just waiting
waiting for the day we finally realize that it is there
it is there and it is waiting for us
to let ourselves grow our wings.





(art by Kate Louise Powell)
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See the golden boy,

the fallen angel,

pointing his trumpet at the sky.

He asks the stars if he can visit

but he knows that

his brilliant, priceless

weight

is too much for their dark atmosphere.

He asks if he can shine, too,

if he can look down upon others

from the immense height of the sky

but he knows that

his rich, prized

weight

is too much for the world of stars.

Still,

he asks,

still,

the golden boy

calls

to his love,

the sky.

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Take it.

It’s yours.

Is it a gift?

Maybe.

A curse?

Maybe.

Nothing is certain,

Except that it’s yours.

                                                                    

Take it,

my heart, my soul, my passion.

Take everything I have

the scars I bear, the love I possess.

Take all that I am,

for I am yours.

And that is all that is certain.

My heart is yours to break,

yours to love, to hold, to treasure.

It’s yours to crush, to crumble, to rip, to tear,

to carve.

And it will matter not how I feel,

if I am broken, or sad, or miserable.

My tears are of no importance.

for I am yours

and that is all is certain.

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Blood of tears fall from my heart

Feels like it was hit by a dart

I never thought we would be apart

Wish I could go back to the start

You were once a sweet guy back then

When there was you and I

You used to tell me you'll never make me cry

But that was a cold-hearted lie

I thought we were perfect for each other

That Ghost and Monster was forever

But then I found out you still loved her and

Then you treated me like a stranger

You left me alone with nothing

After giving you my everything every day

I treat you like a king

But in return, you left me bleeding

Now my heart is aching so badly

I do not know what to do, exactly

How do stop this misery?

How can I recover from this injury?

I feel like dying everyday

Everything has changed after May

Way back April we were so happy

Now you wounded me deeply

I used to be your Monster

And you're my Ghost, remember ?

You plus me equaled "Ghoster"

Please don't forget that, Mister.

"Love you," that's what you said

Without "I," I feel dead

Deep in my heart I know it wasn't real

Because it'ss against what you feel

I've cried so hard because of you

I become so lonely feeling blue

I never thought everything wasn't true

Wish I could make things undo

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storms come and go

without a warning,

or sometimes are just forboding.

scientists warn us, but

they never get it right,

and they never get it wrong,

like playing hide and seek

while blindfolded.

storms come and go

without a warning,

always without a warning.

i try to warn myself, but

i never get it right.

i never get it right.

you never get it right.

No one will ever get it right.

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beep...beeep...beeeep...beep

beeeep...be..bee..beep...beep

Every beat of my heart tracks

the line in the monitor from

going up and down, but I know

that the steady rise and fall of my

chest is coming to its end

the lines dashed into a straight line

protruding the sound of my death

I hear the doctor projecting

the word "clear!" four times but

I guess it was never clear to me

everything is blurred and disordered

the room that was once filled with the

sound of my heart rate was now filled

with sobs and shaky mumbles of

the people

three...two...and...one

beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

I gasped the last thick air coming from

the outside, thinking that it might

mystically awaken my soul and put it

back from where it belong

so I can utter the last words from

within and forget about how this lump

refrains me from going back but

the words are lost, even my soul

Everything still echoes in my head

I was slowly slipping away

from the four corners of this white

room, from the heart rate that I

once heard inside me, from the life

that I've been dealing with

I was struggling to catch a breath

to be able to breathe and to be able

to speak again, I want to scream so they

can hear that I am here, I want them

to stop from crying and know that I am alive

Alive in a very great place, standing still

and waiting to be noticed by them

I am glowing like a blue star in winter

and blooming like a flower in autumn

I glanced at my skin

its transparent and glowing

I thought this effect is only in movies but

it never occurred to me that I'm having

a delusional mind trying to fool myself

that I can come back

The clouds opened with deep

exhalation from the light that strikes

the whole place with a luminous effect

giving the glow, the bloom, and the joy

that everyone finds but none succeed

I am awed, no words can project

the dainty feeling inside me

my naked eyes witnessed the picturesque

beauty that no one has ever seen

but here I am, walking towards the buoyant

paradise that is filled with complete positivity

Once, I was in the state of grief and delirium

from slipping away in the reality that I am

no longer breathing; I'm filled with endless

pain and madness inside  yet seeing a

surreal scenery is feels like living in the

world of fantasy that can never be real

Death waited for me to hold his hand and

walk with him towards the path of my end

it took me away from the life that I no longer

know what to do, he saved me from

the cliff that lures me to my early end and gives

me time to perish the seeds of my hopes

He put me to the spot where I can finally

summon myself to the lies and fears I embodied

He sang lullaby to my ears and tuck me in

the blanket of his comfort and slowly kissing me

while taking the last air of my being

 

They open their arms for me-

I sold myself to the boundless seas,

highest mountains, deathful cliffs

perished beings and cut antlers

giving me the face of serenity

and abundance

I've never been this happy-

for once I felt a furnace within me, the coals

of contentment is lit up by the fires of joy

igniting inside me building up a heat that

eternalize my existence

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