FEATURED STORY: A Composition for My French Boy by Inky Callora

I want to write about you--

 

--about how your name alone already sends me aflutter; how the sight of you makes me weak in the knees; how your voice makes my heart race and my stomach churn in the best possible way.

I want to write about this distance. About how the idea of falling in love with you scared me too much because I was sure that sometimes, distance can make you forget; but I want to write about how you stripped me off of that fear and no matter this distance, I feel your love wrap around me like a soft blanket warming me up entirely on a cold, lonely night.

I want to write about how every I love you gives out a different meaning more beautiful, more true than the last.

I want to write about our plans of spending life together, traveling, seeing the world in broad daylight, and curling up next to each other in the sweet confines of our own home in our favorite city at the end of the day.

I want to write about the songs you make me sing and the music I am able to make with you in mind.

I want to write about this fear of losing you and this need to keep you all to myself, this possessiveness I have over you--how I want to show you off to the world but not too much for I want to keep parts of you for me and me alone.

I want to write about your beauty. Yes, your beauty--how your scars and the stories behind them make me fall in love with you even more, how waking up next to you everyday in the middle of the night, seeing you succumb to the magic of your dreams and hearing you breathe softly against my ear already makes me feel that real life is better than my dreams; at dawn, watching your eyes twitch at the feeling of having someone who loves you so watch over you as you sleep which makes me smile my littlest smile thinking how good it is to be connected to someone too good to be true. And in the morning, just as you are about to wake up and kiss me softly on the cheek signaling the start of my day, allowing me to see the goodness of life through your eyes, only to grow weak at the feel of your arms around me, tempting me to crawl back under the sheets and pretend to sleep some more--that beauty.

I want to write about your beautiful hands--how they are my kind of beautiful hands; how the first time I met you, it was the sight of them that gave you away; those hands that make me feel even more delicate with every touch; those hands I would love for you to cup my face in as you kiss me silly until I cry. I want to write about how as you trace my face with your fingertips, happy tears secretly run down my cheeks washing down the pains and insecurities I keep; how the thought of you holding my heart assures me that everything will be fine because I'm in good hands and my heart will be at its safest.

I want to write about your kisses. How the first time you ever kissed me on the cheek was a month after the first time we met, when you decided to travel 6,574 miles away from home just to make me feel the softness of your lips against the smoothness of my skin; how each kiss meant the world to you and the universe to me; how each kiss shared the untold story behind your brown eyes that almost always did the talking for you. I want to write about our first real kiss, under the sheets, with the lights off--that was one beautiful memory I would forever hold in my heart.

I want to write about your accent; yes, your accent. About how sweet your voice sounds over the phone and how sexy it is up close, against my ear, especially when you whisper my name; how every time I hear you speak I pinch myself, asking myself how did I ever get you? About how hearing you speak in French makes me want to strip off this fragile skin, allowing you to see me as I am, without the fear of having to live up to people's expectations, allowing you to explore me entirely.

I want to write about this love; about how during my lowest of lows, you came in and blew me away. I want to write about how when we first met, I knew life would never be the same, about how you made me believe in love at first sight, and about how you had me at Bonjour.

I want to write about us for me, for you, and for everyone else who fears distance, thinking that being miles apart could tear up a love that's pure and true when in fact, it's the distance that helps you grow. It's the distance that makes your love stronger, and how in a way, this distance also became the glue that continues to hold our relationship together.

I want to write about my dreams of finally being able to live my life anywhere in the world with you by my side. I want to write about this happiness; this feel of satisfaction. I want to write about the idea of spending an eternity with you and how you assured me that even until the world ends, you'd still have my heart.

I want to write about memories with you I will never forget and memories with you we are yet to make.

I want to write about you so badly, you see? I want to write about how this love makes me too happy, too inspired, I could drown in words that are yet to be written.